26th

"Age ain't nothing but a number, sometimes I have to wonder what does it really mean."

My best days are ahead of me by AI alum Danny Gokey is one of my favorite songs. It resonates what I feel every time I celebrate my birthday. People think that life is all about growing old; yet, beneath the seemingly harmless cliche, is the harsh truth that some people are unfortunate to deviate by dying young.

Whenever I hear or read or even write that life is fleeting, it is often out of arrogance not having fully understood what it means or meant. Until the day after my 26th natal day. It was a usual day, or so it seemed, of an afternoon coffee drinking. I had no idea it would become one of the scariest day of my life. As soon as I got home, I felt dizzy and found myself catching my breathe. I suddenly felt my hands cold and sweating, my heart beating faster than it normally did. I was praying hard then, calling on to my patron saint Sto. Nino, thinking at the moment I was gonna leave my family broken-hearted and my friends one friend less.

I thank God with all my heart and with all the beat that is left of me for giving me another chance to enjoy the life He has lent me. It was at this point of my life did I ever learn the true meaning of mortality. All the while, I worried for my parents: who will take care of them when they get old? I worried for my brother and sister: who will help them when they need a sibling's support? I worried for my dreams for them; my hopes, my aspirations, my wishes. For them.

Now, I have to take care of my heart. It's rather hard when you know you have to use it every single day, every single minute, every single second and know at the same time, it may betray you by halting.

Heart, please let me live more years. Let me see my niece grow; bring her to the mall, tutor her, laugh harder with her, teach her life lessons. Allow me to share more valuable time with my mother, my father, my sister, my brother, my friends. You know too well for whom you beat; you beat for them. Please don't fail them.

Should I live longer, 62nd is a better number. Then, I will gladly rest.